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« gruzeburya » TEXT ✧ AUDIO ✧ VIDEO ✧ ACTION ZOYA NAZYALENSKY ✦ GRISHAVERSE

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I am giving you the benefit of assuming your dog has miraculously learned to message me.

[ no, she's not going to reveal the inordinate amount of time she spent squinting at those little faces and searching for a hidden message among them. mortifying. ]

No, so far Ponchik has confounded all my attempts at training him to manage my correspondence.

I'll give you a hint.

😴😵🤠😄 is you.

😇🥶🤩😵🤔😄🥶 is me, but you may also call me 😊😵🥶 🤗😓😄😳

[ there is no world in which zoya nazyalensky is going to admit being baffled by a simple puzzle rather than accept it as a personal challenge, and so — ]

Zoya.
Nikolai. Moi tsar. You could have provided me a true challenge, at the very least.

Objectively, 🤓 seems a more fitting self-portrait for you.

Patience, now. I'm working my way up to full paragraphs.

I have never once worn spectacles in my entire life. My eyesight is as sharp as the rest of me, Nazyalensky.

👑
😉

"Hello Zoya how are you" is riddle with very little pay-off.

[ and, notably, she's breezing past it without an answer. ]

Between the two of us, there is only one sharp object.
Which is precisely why it falls to me to ensure you live long enough to fulfill your royal duty of becoming soft and complacent.
🥱

The pay-off is especially paltry when the question goes unanswered.

[Which he realizes must be on purpose. He can't help but want to provoke, then.]

Maybe it's just because I've been here too long, but that sounded remarkably close to innuendo.

Not even kings get all they long for.
Is it not also my duty to teach you that lesson?

[ using her strategic mind to deflect? it's more likely than someone might think. ]

I do not dabble in innuendo.
My propositions are as direct as my threats. Subtlety is better suited for trite conversation and demure little girls.

Believe it or not, I've learned that lesson quite well.

Are you saying this is NOT a trite conversation then? Why, I'm touched. 🥺

[ blessed be for him that she is conveniently not addressing that first admission. ]

And yet you find ways to flatter yourself like a demure little girl.
Warn me if this is going to turn into a complimentary speech about your best attributes.

If you're feeling left out, I can flatter you instead.

I've missed your delightfully acerbic tongue.

[And quite possibly the rest of her, but he's already pushing it.]

I don't need flattery.
My reflection does that for me.

[ and it's always empty in the end, isn't it? the idle wishes of idly powerful men, flattering themselves into believing the sweet compliments they give her. ]

[...Yeah, that's about what he expected. Time to split in a different direction.]

So aside from glancing in the mirror on occasion, how is my general occupying herself these days?

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