Oh you're so pious, Sankta Zoya. Like you didn't fantasize about feeding me to volcra when I first arrived. Like you didn't roll over and show him your belly because before you were whatever Nikolai needed you were whatever Aleksander needed. Like you were never blind to him because he made you felt wanted. Necessary. And you have never looked backwards? Never faltered, never made mistakes?
Well then good for you Zoya. How smart and wise and wonderful you are. How generous that you take that burden and give Nikolai the freedom of the seas.
And the worst part is I still think you'd be a great queen. Even when I thought the Darkling was lying it still made me hopeful because it was you. And I thought I wouldn't be alive to see it. Nikolai told me the fold was destroyed but he didn't tell me of my fate specifically. I thought it would cost me my life. That that was the fate you were shepherding me back to so eagerly.
Instead I just get to die an otkazat'sya. Half of who I was.
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Like you didn't fantasize about feeding me to volcra when I first arrived.
Like you didn't roll over and show him your belly because before you were whatever Nikolai needed you were whatever Aleksander needed.
Like you were never blind to him because he made you felt wanted. Necessary.
And you have never looked backwards?
Never faltered, never made mistakes?
Well then good for you Zoya. How smart and wise and wonderful you are. How generous that you take that burden and give Nikolai the freedom of the seas.
And the worst part is I still think you'd be a great queen. Even when I thought the Darkling was lying it still made me hopeful because it was you.
And I thought I wouldn't be alive to see it. Nikolai told me the fold was destroyed but he didn't tell me of my fate specifically.
I thought it would cost me my life. That that was the fate you were shepherding me back to so eagerly.
Instead I just get to die an otkazat'sya.
Half of who I was.